Recently there was an article in titled “What Teachers Really Want to Tell Parents.” The article was supposed to provide insight from an inner-city teachers’ perspective concerning the parent/teacher relationship[i]. However, after reading the article and its condescending tone towards parents, I thought there should be a response from parents.
Leave the Stereotypes and Labels at Home
Teachers are supposed to believe that all children can learn. While many teachers claim to believe this, their actions contradict their belief. Don’t generalize that all inner-city children come from single parent homes that don’t place a value on education. Also, don’t be so quick to label minority boys and seek to place them in special education, understand their learning style and adjust your instruction to meet their needs.
Get Rid of the “Messiah” Complex
Teachers are educators, not saviors of inner-city youth. Just because you have degree in education and were taught about the “poor plight of inner-city youth and how they need help,” it does not mean you should develop a Messiah complex. Students need teachers who are serious about providing the core academic skills (reading, writing, math, science) and higher level skills (critical thinking, and problem solving), not a person who thinks they can fix “these” kids.
Respect Me as a Parent, as and an Adult, and as a Partner
Teachers and parents should be partners in the education of the child. Don’t generalize all parents as not being interested in their child’s education based on a few negative experiences with parents who don’t care about their child’s education. Each parent should be treated as an individual and should be treated with respect.
Do not talk down to me as an inferior person just because you assume you might have more education than me. You should strive to talk to all parents as you would like to be talked to if you were in our shoes. When talking about my children, talk from a child-centered perspective that opens up opportunities to collaborate on how to enhance strengths and improve areas of need. Do not become upset or defensive when you are questioned about a low grade or incident that occurred in school.
As a parent who knows their child, I will listen to what he/she has to say and talk to you about it. This does not necessarily mean that I am questioning your authority or that I am making excuses for my child, it simply means that I need to have all the facts before taking action. It is important for you to understand that teachers are human beings and there are some who when having a bad day take it out on their students. There are teachers who have become disgruntled, disillusioned or burned out with their job and instead of having the courage to quit and pursue another career; they continue to make students educational lives miserable. Unfortunately, you know who those teachers are and do nothing to protect those children. That is why I question and appear to make excuses for my child.
As a teacher, you are entrusted with my most valuable possession, my child. Please do not underestimate the critical role you play in the educational development of this impressionable human being. A teacher has the power to create a life-long learner or a disengaged learner. It is easy for a parent to keep a child engaged if they are taught to love learning when they trust their teacher. It is hard for a parent to undo the damage and rebuild a child’s trust in learning when they have experienced a bad teacher.
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